THE CROWDED ROOM
by deetatarant
Summary: A companion piece to 'Spiral' which you'll need to read first.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: If you have just clicked on this, please read 'Spiral' first, other this won't mean much... well it might... but...And thank you for taking a look.**

**This is for Quiet Time, who continues to enthrall me with her tales (I hope you are a she, if not sorry! :-). And Darque I'm still missing you and glad that you and kitty cat are well.**

**THE CROWDED ROOM**

**YESTERDAY**

_The young man at the bar looked bored and Mitch had to admire his ability to maximise his look of discomfort over the apparent abandonment by his boyfriend. Emma had warned him that Torchwood were searching for him. Who the fuck were they? His police lady friend had been scant with the details. So this abandoned lamb at the bar was clearly ready for the slaughter to send this Torchwood a message. No one messed with him, this was his patch and the stuff he was selling was high class shit that was in hot demand. He didn't care about the bodies or the ones who were left broken into pieces. That was part of the thrill, committing murder without even touching them. Everyone had a choice, blue or red pill. He chuckled at the comparison, half wondering if Morpheus should be his name now, so much control and yet so little, like cards or dice. Torchwood was impacting on his sales and his appetite. They had to go. Mitch kept a watch, as the boy stood there holding a pint he wouldn't touch with his lips and looking frigid. Shame really, he was quite the pretty thing and too young to be doing the work of….. whatever it was Torchwood did. He'd heard fanciful rumours. The movie idol man that the boy had come in with was lost to the throng of hot willing bodies that coalesced into a pot boil of sex pheromones and grasping hands. Time for the kill._

**TODAY**

Mitch rose unsteadily to his feet, his hand going to the back of his head automatically, his other hand searching out a wall to balance himself. He was met with cold, damp stone. He raised his head, rubbing away the pain and lifted his blurry gaze to the man who was watching him through dirty glass. There was an acidic stench of piss and sweat that hung thickly in the air. Cold eyes met his gaze and Mitch straightened up, pulling himself together calmly as he recognised the man watching him.

"You didn't read me my rights."

The man behind the glass would have killed him stone dead with his gaze, if he could.

"You are under the illusion that you have rights?"

Mitch was erect now, pulling his shoulders back and staring down the exotic looking man. He stepped forwards to the glass.

"Who are you?"

"Torchwood." Came the succinct reply. As if that would explain everything. Mitch kept on staring.

"I want my phone call." He responded, calmly.

"Really, well that's a shame. We don't always get what we want."

Mitch suddenly realised he was speaking to an American, though how that made any difference….

"How's the boyfriend?"

That got a reaction, the eyes narrowed and the arms were crossed over a broad chest.

"If he dies, then so do you. So you just better hope that he doesn't, because if I have to kill you, I'm gonna take my time over it, and enjoy it."

Mitch could only watch as the man turned and strode away. Something roared loudly and Mitch swung his gaze to another cell opposite his, and he backed off in horror when he saw what was housed there.

**YESTERDAY**

_Jack melted into the thrum of bodies, positioning himself so he could see the bar and Ianto at all times. It didn't take long for a young woman, who was dressed in very little to move in beside him, sliding into his personal space and the two of them moulded together, moving with the music. Jack could sense Ianto's narrowed gaze upon him and part of him enjoyed watching the jealousy play over Ianto's features for the briefest of moments before his blank mask slid back into place. Not caring where his hands wandered Jack watched as his Torchwood agent scanned the club, looking out of place and abandoned. Jack hated doing it to him, but Ianto was never comfortable on these surveillance jobs and he needed to look the part. Ianto would forgive his enthusiasm for the feel of skin under his hands and the scent of sex in his nostrils. Their feelings had to go on hold, Ianto knew this, did his best to live by it when they working. Ianto knew that Jack would never play favourites, except where Gwen was concerned. Jack had justified it by explaining once that she had a life outside the HUB. Jack was distracted by the look on Ianto's face, insecurity, exposure that only Jack could feel. Their eyes met and they exchanged fleeting smiles. The woman in his arms turned to look and got an eyeful._

"_Wow, your friend is hot." She laughed, turning back to her new found dance partner._

_Jack grinned down at her. "Yeah, and he's all mine."_

_They talked, laughed and smiled and then her friends joined them and Jack danced some more. He looked to Ianto again, who was talking to someone stood too close beside him. Another distraction, laughter and…_

"_**Jack, where are you, Ianto's out in the car park!"**__ Tosh was yelling down the com in his left ear._

_Jack looked and Ianto was gone._

**TODAY**

"You disobeyed my orders."

Ianto heaved out a tired sigh and turned his head on the pillow.

"I know. I thought I could handle it."

Jack knew straight away that it was a lie. Sometimes Ianto's lies were as plain as the nose on his face. Jack folded his arms across his chest and chewed at his lower lip.

"You know better than that. I can usually trust you of all people Ianto, what was different this time?"

Ianto appeared to sink himself further under the blanket that Owen had spread over him. Jack glanced at the monitors for a moment, but Ianto seemed to be stable now, so he decided to push.

"Ianto, answer the question."

Ianto blinked away the water in his eyes and steadfastly kept his face turned away. "I was angry and I wanted to kill that man. I still want to kill him. I thought I was capable of taking him down. I was angry at you and it got in the way, my pathetic insecurities got in the way Jack." Ianto sincerely hoped that Owen wasn't in ear shot, but he dare not look for fear of meeting Jack's iron hard gaze.

Jack dropped his arms to his sides. "I don't understand." Though in truth he did, he just didn't want to.

"No, I don't suppose you do." Ianto replied quietly. He felt terrible, sick to his core, weak and afraid. The effects of the drug in his system were still lingering.

Jack strode around the exam bed on which Ianto lay and Ianto felt obligated to look up at him, his vision fuzzy with tears. Jack perched his arse on the stool and reached a tentative hand out, resting it against the covers.

"Explain it to me." Jack instructed, trying not to let his irritation shine through the command. It was weird the way his fear of losing Ianto had turned to this to this sense of claustrophobia.

Ianto shuddered. "I shouldn't have to. You said that drug makes you face your fears. I thought I would see Cybermen or half reconstructed bio mechanical monsters, but I didn't."

Jack frowned. Now he was confused. "Are you telling me you wanted to try the dust?"

Ianto nodded. "It didn't turn out quite the way I expected. Guess I've seen too many detective shows on the tv. I thought he'd give me a pouch of the stuff and then I'd take him down afterwards." He felt stupid admitting to it. "I wasn't expecting the needle in my arm like that. I know I should've been prepared, but I was too distracted because I was annoyed with you and the way you casually threw yourself out there to be groped and mauled by a bunch of strangers. It was revolting Jack."

Jack couldn't sum up the effort to even look slightly apologetic. "I was doing the job we set out to do."

"And doing it so well." Ianto sighed and closed his eyes again.

Jack pulled his hand away from the side of the bed, withdrawing into himself a little.

"So, what did you see? What fears did you seek to conquer Ianto?" He asked with a bitter edge.

The tears came back and Ianto wiped them away with his hand. He looked past Jack into some unfathomable middle distance. "I didn't see anything. There was nothing, no one. I was alone and yet all around me there were people, looking straight through me as though I was glass. I was shouting at the top of my voice and no one answered me, I reached out and no one touched me. I was alone Jack, in a crowded room I was alone."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: i FINISHED MY DISSERTATION TODAY... YIPPEE SO HERE i AM WRITING AGAIN...WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? STILL MAD ABOUT IANTO! THANK YOU TO ALL YOU LOVELY FELLOW FAN FICKERS FOR READING, REVIEWING AND SOME OF YOU BECOMING MY FRIENDS... GOTTA LOVE THE INTERNET REALLY.**

**THE CROWDED ROOM : PART TWO**

"It's done."

Ianto's subdued announcement cut through the oppressive silence in a way that made Jack's skin crawl with apprehension. They were the first words Ianto had spoken all day and were uttered with the finality of death itself. Jack quietly reflected on that, realising that it was a stupid analogy. He wandered over to where Ianto was sat at Toshiko's station.

"I've emailed the files to your account, but Mitchell Webster effectively no longer exists, on paper at least." Ianto was wholly unsatisfied with the situation, the man was still in their cells having refused to tell them from where or from whom he had obtained the dust he was pedalling. Ianto was still feeling like shit and Owen had ordered him to stay in the Hub for the next few days so that the internal sensors could keep him monitored. A precaution, perhaps a little over the top but Ianto didn't much care, he was just grateful that Owen was a bloody good doctor. He hitched a stuttering breath when Jack sat himself on the edge of Tosh's desk, making it judder with the added weight.

"Thank you Ianto." Jack had been trying very hard, too hard in Ianto's view.

"It's my job Jack." He got to his feet and had to steady himself by gripping the back of the chair as the head rush took a moment to clear. Owen had warned him about that, his blood pressure was still too low. Ianto wondered if he looked as bad as he felt because Jack reached out to steady him with lightning speed, his large hand warm around his wrist.

"Take it easy."

Ianto forced a smile.

"I'm fine." He insisted rather firmly. Jack released him, sensing he was missing something important, but unable to decide what exactly it was. Ianto was certainly not going to tell him if couldn't work it out. He watched the smartly suited man as he made his way toward the kitchen unit and the shiny coffee machine that probably received more love and attention than anything else in the entire Hub. Ianto began to work his coffee magic and Jack turned away heading toward the relative shelter of his office. He was a little perplexed when Ianto didn't come in a few minutes later with a mug of his special brew. When he looked out of the window Ianto was nowhere to be seen. Jack sighed, wondering what he had done to piss the Welshman off so spectacularly. Shaking his head he settled on starting on the pile of paperwork in his 'in' tray.

Some indeterminate time later and the cog door, with its usual fanfare of sirens and flashing lights rolled open and Tosh, Owen and Gwen came in. All three of them were arguing loudly with one another, but it didn't sound too serious, so Jack ignored them. The argument ended in laughter, Owen's raucous guffaws and Tosh and Gwen squealing delightedly at something. Jack's curiosity finally got the better of him and he got up to see what was going on. He stood in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, watching as both Gwen and Toshiko were still laughing as Owen disappeared down into his domain. It was a wonderful sound and it succeeded in lifting his darkening mood. Eventually the noise died down and Gwen noticed him standing there, smiling down at them.

"That was a complete waste of time, I'm sure that weevil was waiting for us to arrive before heading down into the sewer." She complained, still grinning. "I suppose I should be grateful for that really."

Tosh was nodding in agreement. "I just want to know where it got the florescent jacket from."

Jack arched his eyebrows. "It was wearing one?"

The women nodded. "Perhaps boiler suits are no longer in Vogue, maybe they want Ianto to give them some fashion tips." Gwen added, "Talking of which, where is he?"

Jack could only shrug. "If he's not in the tourist office then he'll be skulking in the archive somewhere."

Tosh and Gwen exchanged bemused looks.

"What have you done?" Owen demanded coming up from the autopsy bay and looking around. "He's supposed to stay in the main Hub, where you were supposed to be keeping an eye on him."

"Owen, he's fine." Jack retorted.

Owen was shaking his head as he made his way down to the archive to check on his teammate. Jack could be such a twat sometimes.

He found Ianto, as expected with his head down in a filing cabinet drawer and a surprising pair of earphones on his head.

"Oi, Tea Boy!"

Ianto straightened up and sighed as he pulled out his ipod and turned it off. "How was the weevil hunt?"

"The usual, full of weevils. I thought I told you to stay up in the main Hub so that Harkness could keep an eye on you?" He reached and grabbed Ianto's wrist and got little resistance once Ianto figured out that Owen was checking his pulse.

"You look pale, how are you feeling?"

There was no point in lying. "Light headed, irritable and depressed." Ianto replied, uncomfortable with the admission.

"So why did you come down here?" Owen was watching his colleague's face closely.

Ianto huffed out a breath and then gazed about the darkened dank room in which he often worked. "Jack was being his usual sensitive self, I just needed some time alone and it isn't like I don't have plenty to do down here."

Owen arched an eyebrow and dropped his hand to his side. "He's been in twat mode for days. What's he going to do with our prisoner?"

Ianto shrugged. "He wants to use the mind probe, but we know how dangerous that piece of kit is. Personally I'd cut him up and feed him to Janet."

"You sick fuck, mind you I think in this instance I am inclined to agree with you. That bastard isn't likely to tell us anything, otherwise I think he would've squealed by now." Owen realised that Ianto was staring at him. "What?"

"You agreed with me, that's one for the records."

Owen shook his head. "Don't you dare tell the others, I have a reputation to uphold."

Ianto actually smiled at that. "Your dirty little secret is safe with me."

"Good, right then, now we've got that out of the way, can you PLEASE make some coffee, I'm gasping!"

"Of course, just give me a few minutes to finish what I was doing."

Owen nodded and strode away.

Ianto watched his departing back, the smile dropping from his face.

Half an hour later and Ianto stepped down into the autopsy bay with a mug of coffee and a plate of biscuits for Owen. The medic grunted his thanks and gestured for Ianto to sit on the exam couch.

"Sit, I'll give you a quick check over."

Ianto rolled his eyes, but did as he was told. He tolerated Owen at best most of the time, but he could see that Owen really felt he needed to do his job.

"Jacket and shirt off, I'll do a blood sample."

As Owen worked Gwen appeared on the upper level, clearly not expecting to see Ianto there. "Is everything alright?" She leaned on the railing and smiled at Ianto.

Ianto nodded and managed a faint upcurve of his lips. "Owen's being a mother hen." He replied.

"Get knotted Tea Boy. Gwen love, could you go and fetch Jack for me?"

Gwen's eyebrows shot up. "Does that constitute sexual harassment?"

Ianto nodded. "Absolutely, should I sort out the paperwork for you?"

Smiling even more and flicking her hair behind her ear Gwen chuckled as she did as Owen asked.

Owen was shaking his head but smiling none the less. "You Welshies ganging up on me now?"

Ianto was about to nod, then he saw the needle and swallowed. Owen rolled his eyes. "Oh for goodness sake it's just a little prick, you should be right at home with that."

Ianto couldn't decide whether or not he was being insulted.

"You wanted to see me Owen?" Jack drawled from the upper level. Owen and Ianto both looked up to see Jack leaning on the rail, Gwen at his side. They were both smiling.

"I'm just gonna do these tests Jack and then Tea Boy is going home and he is staying there until I say he is fit to be back at work….."

Ianto swung his head and glared at the medic he was about to respond….

"Shut it Tea Boy. Jack can you drive him home and then you two are going to have a chat, because I'm getting very fed up with the pair of you skulking around the place and avoiding each other like you have the plague."

Jack opened his mouth to protest.

"A a a a. No Jack, I haven't finished yet. I'm on duty tonight anyway and since neither you or the Tea Boy have taken any days off recently consider yourselves on medical leave, Doctors orders!"

Jack closed his mouth, well and truly told off. Ianto dipped his chin, trying to stifle a smirk which turned into a grimace as Owen stuck the needle in.

"Ow!"

"Ooops sorry, you'll feel a small prick, or should I say you feel like one. Now, as I was saying. Jack I want obs on Ianto done overnight every hour and you're to make sure he eats something more healthy than a pizza, and no coffee."

Ianto's glare returned. "Now that's just cruel."

Owen finished with the blood sample and taped a cotton wad to the crook of Ianto's arm. He flashed Ianto a wicked grin.

"I shall be blood testing you in the morning when I stop by at the end of my shift."

"Vampire."

"Git."

"Boys!" Gwen was laughing.


	3. Chapter 3

**THE CROWED ROOM PART 3**

It was raining and Jack drove slowly through Cardiff, tapping a finger on the steering wheel and humming something random to himself in an effort to avoid conversation. He was feeling thoroughly chastised and more than a little peeved with Owen's instruction. Jack did not want to risk catching Ianto's eye so he steadfastly kept his gaze on the road ahead as he reflected on what Owen had said. He could sense the uncomfortable presence of the Welshman beside him, hunched up in the front passenger seat, Ianto too, it seemed, wasn't in the mood for talking. Thankfully the traffic wasn't too bad, and it wasn't long before Jack was parking Ianto's Lexus outside his Penarth house. Jack hadn't been here since Ianto's suspension the previous year and remembering that occasion left him dreading the next couple of days doomed to be spent in the sparse, dank house. He unclipped his seatbelt and was aware of Ianto cautiously hauling himself upright holding on to the open door of his car with a white knuckled death grip. Jack got out of the car and watched Ianto from over the top of it.

"My driving wasn't that bad, was it?"

Ianto's lips were drawn in a thin line as he shook his head. He sucked in a steadying breath through his nose.

"No, I was feeling sick anyway." He released one of his hands from the door and dug into his trouser pocket for his house keys. Ianto slid them across the roof of the car and went back to gripping the door with both of his hands. "Just give me a minute."

Jack nodded and closed his door. "I'll open up then come back for you."

Ianto nodded. "Yep."

Jack marched through the front gate and had the front door unlocked in a couple seconds. The moment he opened the old wooden door an orange cat shot out between his legs and disappeared along the side of the house and under the hedge. Jack gaped, he had no idea that Ianto had a cat. He turned to discover that Ianto was wobbling his way toward him.

"Could you lock the car please?"

Jack offered up a faint smile and pointed the key fob at Ianto's car and locked it.

"Your cat ran out."

"He was probably desperate, he hates using the litter tray. Come on, you'd better come in, I wouldn't be surprised if Owen is spying on us from somewhere."

Jack followed Ianto in, his hands at the ready to steady him. Ianto had one hand firmly splayed against the wall for balance. Jack shut the front door and finally looked around. The house had clearly been redecorated since his last visit.

Ianto headed straight for the kitchen.

"Coffee?"

Jack remained in close proximity. "Perhaps I should do that?"

Ianto hesitated for a moment. "Not in my kitchen, you don't. Anyway your coffee is undrinkable."

Jack was shaking his head and mouthing swear words silently at Ianto's back. Somehow the Welshman knew and he turned his head just in time to see what Jack was doing.

"There's no good complaining, blame Owen if you want to whinge at anyone."

Jack grinned at him and Ianto rolled his eyes. It was going to be a long couple of days. Within minutes the scent of Arabican beans was wafting through the house and Jack stood in the kitchen doorway and observed Ianto's coffee ritual with an appreciative eye. The smell was wonderful and began to put Jack at his ease. He felt the muscles in his back and shoulders loosen up and he let out a quiet yawn into the back of a raised hand. It did not go unnoticed.

"Should I even be giving you coffee, you look like you should be going to sleep."

Jack merely arched an eyebrow and Ianto shook his head.

"Don't say it Jack. I am not in the mood for your innuendos."

"Guilty as charged, but I'd still like some of that coffee."

A few moments later and a china mug filled with the elixir of life was pressed into his hands.

"Thank you."

Ianto only nodded, choosing to perch himself on a stool at the breakfast bar. Jack sat opposite him and placed his mug on the granite topped work surface.

"So, you redecorated." He had to start somewhere, he supposed.

Ianto shrugged. "I paid someone to do it for me. I never had the time. Don't know why I bothered really, its not as if I am here enough to appreciate it."

"It looks nice." Jack offered up.

Ianto glanced about. "I guess. It's warm and clean."

Jack frowned at the younger man. "Ianto, its your home."

Ianto didn't comment, he just sipped on his coffee instead. Jack watched him closely, unable to decide what he should say next.

"You want to tell me what is going on in that head of yours?"

"Because Owen told you to ask or because you actually want to know?" Ianto couldn't keep the bitterness that had sunk into his spirit out of his tone of voice.

Jack sighed. "Sorry I asked."

Ianto closed his eyes. "No, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for." When he opened his eyes he failed to stop the water from trailing over his pale cheeks. Ianto angrily wiped away the offensive display of emotion.

"I don't know what's going on Jack, and that scares me more than anything. I'm not used to this….. feeling so off balance. Even with Lisa I wasn't like this." He struggled to pull himself in, gripping his mug in both hands so tightly Jack thought he would break it.

"You had focus back then, firstly in trying to save her and then in grieving for her." Jack smiled. "We all go through these weird patches, look at Owen and his cage session with the weevils last year."

"You saying I should spend a night with Janet?"

Jack shook his head and smiled. "What I am saying is, don't be so hard on yourself. I know you saw things that you were not expecting to see when you were drugged up. But what you told me made sense. How could it not? You've lost so many people Ianto, that kind of hurt stays with you throughout your life, believe me I know."

Ianto stared down into his coffee. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Jack was frowning now.

"I think I finally understand what you are up against. I can't imagine forever Jack, I don't want to. I wish I could fix you." Ianto replied quietly, not looking up.

Jack sighed and outstretched his hand, resting his fingers on Ianto's arm. "Concentrate on fixing yourself, that's what would help me best."

Ianto's eyes drifted to where Jack's fingers rested over the sleeve of his jacket. "You should have stayed with him."

"With whom?"

"The Doctor, maybe in time he would've found a way to help you."

Jack shook his head. "He can't help me, if he could, he would. I know that much. I wanted to come back." He squeezed Ianto's arm. "I told you this. Don't you believe me?"

Ianto didn't know, he really didn't so he just shrugged. Jack moved his hand back to his mug.

"I know you're still angry with me. I know you won't admit to it because you don't want me to feel restrained by how you feel. I came back because I thought you and I stood some chance of having a decent relationship. I trust you Ianto, more than anyone else I have ever known, but I need you to trust me and yourself."

Ianto finally met his gaze and Jack sucked in a surprised breath at the emptiness in the younger man's eyes.

"It's not about that Jack. Not really. It's just I have doubts… about myself, I suppose. I don't know…" He dipped his head and swallowed. "Shit, I'm gonna be sick, excuse me."

Ianto bolted for the bathroom and Jack followed on his heels as Ianto ran up the carpeted stairs. He got to the bathroom sink just in time to hurl up the half cup of coffee he had just drunk, Jack was there rubbing soothing circles over his back. Ianto shivered with cold as he turned on the taps to rinse away the watery vomit.

"I think you should go to bed." Jack advised.

Ianto couldn't agree more. He reached for the bottle of mouth wash from the shelf above the sink.

"I'll get you a glass of water."

"Thanks Jack."

Ianto felt uneasy undressing under Jack's watchful eye, but there was only concern in Jack's darkened eyes. Jack fussed with the curtains and pulled back the plush duvet with a gesture that told Ianto he had no choice but to get into bed. Within minutes of putting his head down Ianto was snoring into the pillows. Jack pulled off his boots and went and hung his great coat up on the wardrobe door. Not long after he was settled on top of the bed beside Ianto reading Faucoult's Pendulum, a book that Ianto had clearly started and not finished.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This really hasn't gone in the intended direction... **

**THE CROWDED ROOM PART 4**

Jack was disturbed from his reading at some indeterminate time later by Ianto shifting under the covers. The slumbering man suddenly became restless and started to squirm and mumble in his sleep. Jack sat up and put the book aside, turning his full attention to Ianto, who seemed to be in some distress. Jack wasn't certain what he should do as Ianto's sleep appeared to become more disturbed by the moment. He was about to move when Ianto suddenly sat up gasping in short, urgent breaths and looking wildly about.

"Oh." Ianto leant forwards and kicked away the covers at the same time. He lurched out of the bed and ran for the bathroom. It took Jack a few seconds to collect himself together enough to follow Ianto as he headed at speed to the bathroom. He found the younger man retching noisily into the toilet a moment later. Jack sighed then got down to the tiled floor beside him and gently rubbed soothing circles over the damp sweaty T-shirt that covered his back. Ianto was shivering.

"You cold?"

A nod in reply, followed by more dry heaving. Jack sighed again Ianto was clearly going to go through an uncomfortable, if delayed withdrawal.

"Why am I so sick?"

Jack half wondered if on some level Ianto was able to read his mind sometimes.

"It's the drug still in your system. You're body just isn't designed to cope with it. Dust was created in my time, people were…..will be more resilient to such things, the come down is hard enough for a body more advanced than yours."

Ianto nodded and continued to shiver, even though he hugged himself tightly to ward off the deepening chill in his body.

"I feel like shit."

"Yeah, not much I can do about that, I'm afraid you're just going to have to put up with it for a couple of days." Jack couldn't find it in himself to be overly sympathetic, he was still annoyed with Ianto for disobeying the orders that had been designed to protect him from precisely this. "Come on, back to bed, I think you've hurled up all you are going to."

Ianto didn't protest as he was hauled to unsteady feet and manhandled gently back to his bed. He lay there, shivering under the duvet, his teeth chattering and his skin felt as though cockroaches were crawling over it. Jack patted down the covers.

"I'll get you some tea."

"Thanks Jack."

Jack soon discovered that there were no tea bags or leaves or anything else to drink except water from the tap or black coffee. Ianto's kitchen cupboards were empty. Jack cursed under his breath and decided he needed to call the Hub.

It was Gwen who answered his call.

"Jack, hi. How's things?" She sounded disgustingly cheerful.

"Ianto's not so great. I was wondering how things were at your end." He replied as he wandered from the lounge back through to the kitchen.

"It's quiet, Tosh and Owen are going to do overnight watch, but there's nothing on the predictor for another three days. We're fine Jack."

"Good, that's good. Can you do me a favour?" He chewed at his bottom lip.

"Yes, of course, what is it?"

Jack sucked in a breath. "I need some supplies, Ianto clearly hasn't been near a supermarket since birth probably…. You know things like milk, bread, eggs, tea. That kinda stuff."

He could almost hear Gwen nodding. "No problem, I can stop by Asda and do a big shop for him. But you must realise Jack, he spends most of his life in the Hub. I think it's a hangover from when you were away, we couldn't get him to go home at all during that time." She sounded worried to his ears and Jack was lost for words.

"Jack?"

"Er, yes. I know, I guess I am going to have to talk to him about that. You don't mind?"

"The shopping? Of course not, he's done it for us often enough. I'll get you boys something nice for dinner. Expect me in a couple of hours. Anything else?"

Jack felt warmth swell in his chest for the first time in days. "Can you bring one of our laptops, I may as well try to do some of my admin whilst I am here."

"Ok. Well I shall see you both soon, did you need to speak to Owen?"

"No. Thank you Gwen, see you later."

"Ok, bye."

Jack hung up and tossed his phone onto the kitchen bench and settled for taking a glass of boiled water up to Ianto. The Welshman was sound asleep when Jack stepped into the bedroom. He immediately crept out of the room and pulled the door closed as quietly as he could.

Two hours later and Jack was very pleased to see Gwen Cooper and he helped her in through the front door with a half dozen carrier bags full of groceries. They stacked them on the kitchen bench and Gwen went back to her car to fetch the laptop. Shortly after they were drinking tea at Ianto's breakfast bar, Gwen surveying her boss and friend with an appreciative eye.

"Did you only just get up?"

Jack smiled at her as he looked down at himself in undershirt and boxers. "No, but Ianto's asleep and I did not want to disturb him by going back into his room."

The implication that he'd been sharing a bed with his team member was not lost on Gwen and she couldn't help but grit her teeth. Gwen did not understand Jack's relationship with Ianto, she wasn't sure he did either and Ianto certainly didn't. She liked to convince herself it was something convenient and casual for entirely selfish reasons, but then she didn't want either of them getting hurt either.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on with him?" She asked nibbling on some shortbread.

Jack shrugged. "Not really my place. Owen wants him on medical leave for few days because of the dust poisoning and Ianto has stuff he needs to sort out in his head." He guessed it wouldn't hurt to tell her some of it.

"And you're here because?"

Another shrug. "Ianto doesn't talk much and when he does he tends to only talk to me, especially when it comes to personal stuff."

Gwen did not look convinced. "You're our leader Jack, not a bloody social worker, can't Ianto talk to his friends or his family?"

Jack raised an eyebrow a little surprised by her response. "His friends died in London and his parents are also dead. I don't think he gets on with his sister well enough to share anything with her."

"We're his friends Jack."

"Yeah, which is why I am here, supposedly. Look Gwen, right now he needs looking after, trust me, he would not appreciate anyone else doing it for him." Jack replied with a smile. "Anyway, we haven't talked much over this last week. How's the wedding plans coming along?"

Gwen went straight to twisting the ring on her finger. "Oh, you know, this and that. Flowers, caterers, invites, whose sitting next to who, it's a bloody nightmare is what it is."

Jack frowned. "Wow, that bad?"

Gwen sort of smiled and it looked like more of a grimace to Jack. "I'm having second thoughts Jack."

He put down his mug. "Why? Rhys is the one, isn't he?" He hadn't properly met the intended yet.

Gwen looked at him with wide hopeful eyes. "Is he? I sit here and I'm looking at you. Then I keep thinking about my job and what that means for a marriage." She looked away for a moment and when she looked back at Jack, his face was clouded with dismay. "Rhys is a good man Jack, since I started with Torchwood things have been harder for us, my job is risky, secret, and then there's you."

Jack sighed and shook his head. "Remember what I said all that time ago?"

"Don't let it drift."

"You're like the fire that keeps us all warm. Gwen I…" Words failed him and so he got up and paced about the kitchen. "Don't abandon Rhys in the hopes that you and I could be something. We never could, I am not who you think I am. You have a chance to have real love, a family, a life outside of the chaos of Torchwood."

Gwen couldn't argue the point. "Jack, I'd do anything for you, to be with you."

Jack stopped his pacing and faced her with an earnest look that darkened his eyes. "Then hold on to Rhys. I know you love him Gwen, he lights up your eyes when you talk about him, he can give you the strength and support that I cannot and to be honest with you…."He sucked in long breath. "I need Ianto. I need his quiet, undemanding loyalty and right now he's hurting because of the things I have done and I want to make it up to him." He surprised himself by saying it.

Gwen arched her eyebrows. "Need and not love? How does that work, Jack? How is that in any way fair to you or Ianto?"

"I don't expect you to understand, just take my word for it. If I thought for one moment that I could give you everything, then I would. You and I would end badly. I'd only end up hurting you. Ianto just accepts me the way I am." He explained.

"Do you know how selfish that sounds? Jesus Jack, what about Ianto? He's not some automaton that'll just lie back take what he can get, he's got feelings for you, the same as I have. You make it sound like you have a lower opinion of him."

Jack was confused. "I don't get it, I thought you'd want me to leave well alone."

Gwen huffed out a sigh and flicked away the strand of hair that had drifted down in front of her eyes. "He's my friend Jack and yes, I am willing to admit to a degree of envy because he has a part of you that I do not, but I do not want to see him hurt by you or anyone else for that matter."

"That's why I want you to stay with Rhys, he'd never treat you badly Gwen."

"Jack, he doesn't even know what I do, I feel like I am the one treating HIM badly, and I was last year. I know that if you and I were….. well it'd be different, I wouldn't need to lie anymore. I hate the lies Jack."

Jack understood, he really did. "I warned you about that, you should have told him you'd signed the official secrets act or something."

Gwen threw him an exasperated glare. "I did Jack, but trying to explain gunshot wounds and weevil claw marks isn't quite so easy, especially when he worries so much. You have no idea. Is that why you keep dating fellow employees? To avoid all that?"

"No. Look Gwen, just trust me, we wouldn't work. Please, just leave it at that."

Gwen got up and gathered up her handbag and car keys. "Then make sure you look after Ianto, because he deserves better."

Jack nodded. "I know he does."


	5. Chapter 5

**THE CROWDED ROOM PART 5**

Jack began to sort through the shopping bags, relieved that Gwen had finally left, all be it leaving him with a bitter taste settling at the back of his throat. He tried to distract himself with pulling the groceries out and deciding what to cook for dinner. He was putting things in the fridge when the phone in the hallway began to ring. Jack sighed straightening up about to go and answer it, but it clicked over to voicemail, he stood frozen in the kitchen doorway and listened to a Welsh accented, woman's voice he didn't recognise.

"Bloody hell Ianto, one of these days you'll answer this thing and I'll faint with the shock. It's Mica's birthday next week, we're having a party on Friday, we'd like you to come, please try to be there. Love you."

Jack sighed wondering who the caller was and who Mica was. Family maybe? He had no idea, Ianto didn't talk much at the best of times, but he'd never mentioned family, other than his late father. He went back to the kitchen deciding he'd make stir fried chicken with pasta, it'd be easy to do and not too harsh on Ianto's clearly delicate stomach. He made a mug of tea first and carried it up to Ianto's bedroom. He found that the younger man had pulled the large duvet tightly about him, but he was wide awake and shivering violently under the thick covers. Jack tried to smile and failed miserably.

"I brought you some tea."

He put the mug down on the cabinet beside the bed and sat himself down next to Ianto. Ianto peered up at him from under a muss of bed hair and dark lashes. Jack thought he had never looked more beautiful in this raw state and he gently ran his hand over the quilted body beside him.

"You still cold?"

Ianto nodded.

"Who was here? I heard the front door slam."

"Gwen came by with groceries, your cupboards had nothing in them." Jack tried not to make it sound like an admonishment and failed at that too. "Let me help you sit up, come on."

Ianto moved himself, pulling the bedding with him and once he was more upright he accepted the mug with both his hands trembling, fingers curled around the hot china.

"Thanks." Ianto croaked. The heat was wonderful as it seeped into the bones of his hands and seemed to make its way up his arms. Ianto took a cautious sip and winced at the sweetness, but he knew Jack had done that deliberately so he didn't complain. Within moments his stomach griped painfully and Ianto had to put the mug down.

Jack watched him with concern. "Your stomach still being difficult?"

Ianto nodded. "It'll stop in a minute then I shall try some more tea."

"Ok, do you think you'll be able to eat anything?"

Ianto shook his head. "The very thought of it…."

"You should try."

Ianto shook his head. "Tomorrow maybe, but not now." He closed his eyes and rested his head back against the head board. "Too tired."

Jack wasn't surprised, Ianto looked exhausted and vulnerable and Jack was painfully reminded of those 'post Lisa days'.

"Alright, but I'm going to bring you up soup instead, you need something inside you."

Ianto wondered why the hell Jack was being so determined to mother him, he just wanted to be left alone to be miserable in peace. He wasn't comfortable with Jack seeing him so exposed.

"There's an innuendo in there somewhere." Ianto opened his eyes to see Jack chuckle slightly. He hitched the faintest of smiles. "Better, your smiley face is so much nicer than your worried one."

Jack baulked. "Hey, I'm the one supposed to be looking after you, remember?"

Ianto shrugged. "I'll be fine Jack. Really, you should go back to the Hub."

"Stop being a stubborn ass. It's either me or Owen and I think you'd prefer me, wouldn't you?" Doubt flashed in his eyes. Ianto nodded eventually.

"Of course, but don't fuss Jack."

Jack proffered the mug of tea again and Ianto took it.

"You're not used to it, are you?"

Ianto swallowed. "Used to what?"

"People taking care of you. I remember after Brecon, you wouldn't let anyone help you then either." Jack watched him carefully, but Ianto remained silent, choosing to sip on the tea instead. "I just want to help, there's no need for you to suffer alone."

Ianto passed him the now empty mug.

"Do you want to be here?" Ianto asked.

Jack met his look, he really wasn't sure but he nodded anyway. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you are ill and need caring for."

Ianto sighed. "You don't get it, do you?"

Jack didn't, well he didn't want to anyway. Ianto huffed out an exasperated sigh.

"Forget it." He snuggled back down and rolled away from Jack, hugging the quilt so only the top of his had was visible.

Jack blinked at him, not certain of what he had just missed and Ianto's childish gesture only served to annoy him. He chewed at his lower lip.

"You started this, why are you turning away from me?" His voice sounded petulant, even to his own ears. Ianto flopped onto his back, turning his head to face Jack.

"I heard you talking to Gwen." He finally admitted. "You treat me like I'm something you're settling for because you can't have what you want and she has the cheek to call herself my friend. I thought you'd come back a different man, a better person but you are still as selfish and as secretive as you ever were. I keep hoping I am worth more to you because when we're together you make feel like I am the centre of the universe. Right now I feel like unclaimed excess baggage. I get it Jack, I understand you don't love me or whatever it is, but don't use me as your fall back position."

Jack stared at him, clenching his teeth in anger. He got up.

"Fine." He strode over to the window and looked down on the street, right now he was just desperate for a roof to brood on. "I'm sorry you have such a low opinion of me."

Ianto wanted to thump him and he'd had the strength that's exactly what he would have done.

"I don't Jack, that's the problem, my problem." He was staring at Jack's back, which was ramrod straight with tension.

"Do you remember when you kissed me, right before you left with the Doctor?"

"Of course I do. What of it?" Jack kept his gaze steadfastly on the street.

"It felt like a promise, one that you broke within hours of making it. I convinced myself that I'd never let myself feel anything for you if you came back." Ianto laughed humourlessly. "As you can see it didn't work. You're my boss and I hope you are my friend, but I can't do this other if I am just a convenient body. If you really want her that much Jack…." He trailed off.

"Gwen is with Rhys, I have no intention of breaking them up. It's important for her to hold on to him."

"But my feelings don't matter?"

Jack was silent. That was answer enough.

**AN: I haven't decided if I am going to leave it there...**


	6. Chapter 6

**THE CROWDED ROOM PART 6**

Three days later and Ianto decided he was fit enough to return to work. He was feeling much better and had managed to keep his last three meals down where they belonged. He had also slept pretty well, which for him was nothing short of a miracle. He dressed himself with a feeling of dread that gnawed at his gut because he really didn't want to face Jack. Ianto hadn't seen or heard from him for three days. He was quite disappointed, not only because Jack clearly had no intention of emotionally investing himself in a relationship but also because he had got his own hopes up over something that he really should have known not to. Today was going to be all kinds of awkward. However, he had a job to do, one that he loved and be damned if Jack bloody Harkness was going to ruin it for him. He gathered his resolve and then remembered that Owen was the one to send them home together in the first place. Owen was definitely getting decaf for the day, and so was Gwen, in fact Gwen was likely going to get decaf for the foreseeable future. Ianto realised he was still seething over the things he had heard her say to Jack a few days previously. Her pretence at friendship was galling to him. Jack was welcome to her, they were a perfect match, vacuous and selfish. A moment later he was mentally chiding himself for his own petulance.

He arrived to an empty Hub at 7am and straight away took in the mess of take away cartons and abandoned coffee mugs that littered the workstations. Ianto heaved out a sigh, well maybe there were some things about his job he didn't like. After a quick inspection it became clear that Tosh had been the only one to tidy up after herself. Ianto hung up his coat and went to get a bin liner from the store cupboard.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Jack Harkness strolled across the Plas as if he owned it. After an entertaining night spent with an Australian couple who were staying at the St David's hotel he was feeling thoroughly pleased with himself as he walked back to the Hub. He was looking forward to a shower and then maybe some breakfast before the rest of the gang arrived. He hopped onto the invisible lift and glided down into his underground domain reflecting on the advantages of unattached threesomes. The first thing he saw was Ianto, plastic bag in hand gathering up the detritus left behind by his colleagues. The young man was bending down, giving Jack a fantastic view of his well toned arse and Jack couldn't help but stare at the delicious vision below him.

Ianto heard the lift and straightened up, watching as Jack descended. He was at a loss for words which only served to annoy him. Jack was looking entirely too pleased with himself.

"Good morning Ianto." Jack greeted him cheerfully as he stepped down from the lift platform.

"Sir." Ianto couldn't think of any other response that he felt like giving. Jack didn't appear to notice as he sauntered in the direction of his office and closed the door behind him. Ianto tried his best to ignore him and went back to his task. He cleaned up, fed Janet and Myfanwy and then set about making coffee for the team.

Jack took a speedy shower and was dry and changed in a matter of minutes, he climbed up from his quarters under his office to be met by the scent of Ianto's delicious coffee. He stood at the window and watched as the younger man took a tray of mugs to the board room, pleased to note that Ianto's routine was as rigidly set in stone as the Mayan Calendar. Ianto was clearly pissed off with him and Jack braced himself for a battle of silent wills, passive resistance and stony faced looks from Ianto. Jack sighed, the pleasures of the previous night leaving a stain on his conscience as he watched Ianto cross back in the direction of his beloved coffee machine.

Twenty minutes later and the entire team were seated around the boardroom table, enjoying donuts and coffee, though Jack, Owen and Gwen were all quietly thinking that their coffee was not up to Ianto's usual standard. Tosh had no such concerns. Jack got the morning briefing underway.

"Good morning every one."

Gwen was smiling at him. "Morning Jack." .

Ianto ignored him.

Owen grunted at him, something that could have been a greeting.

Toshiko sipped on her coffee before speaking. "I'm so glad you're back Ianto, this is heaven."

Ianto smiled at her and inclined his head. "Thanks Tosh and you're welcome."

"Ok." Jack tried to keep his mood enthusiastic. "Anybody have anything to report?"

Owen slugged the rest of his coffee. "Yeah Jack. I completed the post mortem on that girl's body we found. The weevil bites were post mortem. She died as a result of strangulation, probably with wire or thin nylon rope, she was also raped. I think it's one for the local plod." He slid a report across the table. Owen hated doing PMs on children. He had gone out and had a lot of beer afterwards.

Jack reached for the manila folder and took a quick look before passing it on to Gwen.

"Could you deal with that?"

Gwen nodded. "Of course, they'll want to get socos out to the site where we found her."

"Anything else? Ianto, Tosh?"

Ianto shook his head.

Tosh nodded. "Yes, just the latest report on my current research is ready for you to take a look at, and we need to run maintenance diagnostics on the buffers for the Rift Manipulator."

"Ok, Ianto and I can handle that. Do you have anything on the predictor for today?"

"Yes around mid afternoon, looks quite sizable too, but I don't have a location fix yet."

"Ok, if that's all people. I am sure you all have paperwork to catch up with. Gwen get that report over to Kathy Swanson and Ianto, I'd like to see you in my office please."

Jack got to his feet and left the room, leaving Gwen to offer up a sympathetic smile for Ianto, it took every ounce of his will power not to sneer at her and he settled for rolling his eyes instead.

"I'll see you after in the medical bay, Ianto." Owen added and Ianto had to wonder why Owen hadn't called him Tea Boy. Ianto followed Jack up to his office and stood in front of his desk, his hands buried in his pockets. Jack sat down and grinned, gesturing at the chair beside Ianto.

"Sit, please."

Ianto complied, resting his hands on his lap.

"Sir?"

Sighing, Jack shoved aside a pile of folders and leant forwards, his elbows resting on his desk. He had no idea how to do this so he dived straight in.

"I'm sorry for walking out on you the other day." In truth he wasn't sorry at all, he'd needed to escape in order to avoid giving Ianto an answer. "And please, drop the sir, we've had that discussion already."

Ianto nodded and keeping his face as neutral as possible he stood up. "Is that all?"

"No, it isn't. Sit down!" Jack was close to shouting. "Don't do this stoic butler crap. This is me Ianto, I don't buy it."

Ianto remained on his feet. "I'd rather stand, what else did you wish to discuss?" His hands went back into his pockets because they shaking and Ianto did not want Jack to see.

"Ok, how are you feeling now?"

"Fine, sir. Thank you."

Jack gritted his teeth. "Ianto…."

"I'd like to request next Friday off." Ianto said somewhat hurriedly.

Jack leaned back in his chair, remembering the phone message he had overheard at Ianto's house.

"No problem. I'll tell the others."

"Thank you."

"So, er is it a date?" Jack ventured wondering what on Earth he was trying to achieve.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "It's personal and has no bearing on Torchwood."

Jack shrugged. "I see, well then I guess…."

"Was there anything else, it's just that Owen wants to see me." Ianto was desperate to get out of there, away from the office and the overpowering pheromones rolling off Jack in waves. Jack looked slightly put out, not accustomed to being given the brush off.

"No, it doesn't matter."

Ianto fled the room and marched down to the autopsy bay with his head down, to avoid the curious look from Tosh as he passed her by.

Jack buried his face in his hands feeling thoroughly exasperated. It was going to be a long day.


	7. Chapter 7

**THE CROWDED ROOM PART 7**

TWO DAYS LATER

Ianto walked stiffly down into the autopsy bay. His ribs were hurting but he knew very well that Owen wasn't really in the mood to deal with a patient. The medic was stomping around his domain, tidying up after dealing with Rhys' gunshot wound. Metal implements were rattled about and the sterilising cabinet door was slammed shut rather too vigorously to be good. Ianto hesitated on the bottom step, about to turn round. Owen had other ideas.

"Park your arse Tea Boy, I need to look at you."

Ianto swallowed and did as he was ordered, not wanting to piss Owen off even further. It had been one of those days. He perched himself on the end of the autopsy table and removed his waistcoat, tie and shirt, hissing with the pain as he did so.

Owen faced him, Bekaran scanner in hand.

"Shit mate that looks painful."

Ianto nodded but said nothing as Owen got to work examining his injuries, lips pursed in thin line.

"You did the right thing Owen."

The medic froze for a moment, well aware of what Ianto was referring to.

"Yeah, doesn't make me feel any better though."

"I know. But I think in the end it was the best thing. Even if you could have saved it, there is no way we would have been able to care for it properly, or get it home."

Owen stopped again and looked Ianto in the eye, the young man was clearly as upset about the whole whale thing as he was, unfortunately, he was also right.

"Sometimes I hate this job."

Ianto could only agree.

"There's nothing broken mate, but you've got some serious bruising there, so take it easy for a few days, no lifting shit or shagging. I'll give you some pain killers."

Ianto nodded his thanks and eased his shirt back on.

"I can't believe Jack, he should never have let Rhys out in the field, the bloke's a bloody idiot. What the Hell was Jack thinking?" Owen directed his question to a somewhat startled Ianto. As if he would know.

Ianto shrugged, half wondering if Jack had used it as an excuse to get Rhys out of the way on a permanent basis. He dismissed the thought a second later.

"Rhys was helpful, but I agree with you. I wouldn't like to guess at how many rules have been broken today. He should have retconned Rhys at the very least."

Owen was packing away the scanner. "Yeah what the fuck was all that about? Bloody Cooper, sanctimonious cow, did you see the way she was eyeballing Jack?"

Ianto had, but that wasn't what had bothered him. It was Jack once again dismissing how the rest of the team might feel, and now Gwen was doing it too because she knew Jack would let her get away with anything and it had endangered their lives.

Ianto slipped off the table and buttoned up his waistcoat. "I best get the reports done, thanks Owen."

The Londoner proffered a small packet of pills. "Look, Ianto, are you ok? I mean….. you know, what's happening with you and Jack?"

Ianto took the pack. "Nothing, apparently. I'm fine Owen…"

He was interrupted by the sound of footsteps thumping down the steps and he turned to see Jack standing there looking concerned and slightly breathless. He grasped Ianto's shoulders and inspected him closely and Ianto frowned at him, unhappy with being manhandled.

"Owen is he alright?"

The medic nodded. "Just bruises." Owen moved away and headed up the steps, figuring that Jack would want to talk to Ianto in private. He headed over to Tosh, who was at her work station.

Ianto edged himself back out of Jack's hold and Jack dropped his hands to his sides, looking awkward.

"I thought I'd lost you." He murmured. "When that guy shot at you…."

Ianto leant against the metal exam table and sucked in a deep breath, he didn't want the reminder that he'd literally dodged the bullet earlier that day.

"Well I'm still here." He didn't know what else to say. Jack just looked utterly lost.

"I thought I'd lost you Ianto and then when you got up I was so relieved to see you. I wish I could've just stopped time and held you."

Ianto stared at him for a moment longer and then folded his arms across his chest in a defensive posture.

"Don't. After that performance with Gwen, I just don't want to hear it Jack. You both made it sound like none of us have any feelings or lives outside of this place. Well I am happy to disappoint you. The protocols are there for a reason Jack, not only to protect the outside world, but also to protect us and you broke them."

Jack opened his mouth to retort and then closed it again to consider his reply. "I just felt it was important. If Gwen loses Rhys she'll become…"

"What? Like the rest of us? She's already had an affair with Owen, Jack. Her hypocrisy is galling enough, but you've bandied the rules around on the rest of us."

"Stop Ianto!" Jack shouted, silencing him straight away. "I know I fucked up. I do not need a moral lecture from you, of all people. After the things you've done."

Ianto shook his head and started to walk away, fury radiating from tense shoulders.

"Don't walk away from me, this discussion isn't over." Jack grabbed his arm and swung him round so violently Ianto almost lost his balance. Ianto tried to pull away, but Jack tightened his hold.

"Ianto, please." Jack lowered his voice imploring with his eyes. "Please."

Ianto sagged. "I'm not arguing with you Jack. I know my mistakes well enough and I have tried to learn from them."

Jack's grip softened and he smoothed his hand down the length of Ianto's arm and gently grasped his fingers.

"I know and I am sorry I said that." He was gratified when Ianto didn't pull away. "You are the bravest man I have ever met, the kindest, but so much has happened to you and I know that you don't have anyone at home to turn to. I just don't want to take that away from Gwen anymore. It's time things changed here, you made me realise that."

Jack pulled him closer so that their faces were barely an inch apart. "I nearly lost you today Ianto and I realised I couldn't stand for that to happen, my heart stopped when he shot at you." Jack touched his cheek. "I just…."

Ianto met his gaze. "Jack, that could happen any day in this job."

"Yeah, I know. I don't want to lose you."

"Then stop pushing me away. I don't know where I stand with you and I cannot deal with the hot and cold routine or the way you behave around Gwen. I am sorry for my petty values Jack, it's who I am. Look, this is a bad time to be having this conversation. We're both on edge after today."

Jack enfolded him in a gentle embrace and Ianto slid his arms around Jack and relaxed into the hold, comforted by the contact. Jack's fingers were running through his hair.

"You sure you're ok?"

Ianto smiled into his shoulder. "I'm fine Jack, really. Just bruised."

"Ok."

Eventually Ianto eased himself back from Jack's embrace.

"I'll make some coffee, Owen was looking like he needed some."

Jack grasped his hand. "Ianto, I'm sorry I've been such an arse."

The faintest of smiles broke on Ianto's pale face and he squeezed Jack's fingers. "We've got a long way to go Jack. Do we have the time? Can we make anything work with the way our lives are?" He whispered.

In Jack's own experience the answer was always no, but then Ianto wasn't like any of the other Torchwood operatives he'd been with previously, the last one being Alice's mother and what a disaster that had proved to be. Jack offered up a returning smile, trying to be of some reassurance.

"I don't know. Part of me says not, one day you'll step through that cog door and come back in a body bag. I could always take you off field ops…."

Ianto was shaking his head. "No, I'm good out there Jack and you know I am."

Jack sighed. "I can't show you any favouritism."

"I don't expect it or want it. You're my boss Jack, that has to come first, I know and accept that. I don't want to be protected. I just want you to trust me, to respect and to l…"

Jack kissed him, effectively silencing him. Ianto responded instinctively, because that's all he ever was with Jack, just Ianto Jones and nothing else. They broke apart for air.

"You have my trust and my respect and my heart, as shabby as it is." Their noses were touching and Ianto felt hot fingertips brush at his cheek. "I nearly lost you I've already lost you once and by some miracle got you back, alive and whole."

Ianto frowned, not understanding. Jack kissed him again, briefly and then smiled against Ianto's lips.

"A story for another day."

Ianto nodded. "Promise me, we'll talk about this Jack. I know I am as rubbish as you are with my feelings but…"

"I promise." Jack whispered into his skin.

They stood there in silence for a long time until Jack finally heaved in a deep breath.

"Coffee?"

"Yep."

**FINIS**


End file.
